Euthyphro's Lesser-Known Dilemma

Euthyphro walked into a Starbucks and ordered a tall coffee. The barista probed:

"We have two options for you this afternoon, our blonde roast and our Pike Place Roast. Which would you like?"

Euthyphro stared wide-eyed at the employee for a few moments, turned on his heels, and walked out. As it turns out, he deemed the decision impossible, so he went home and had a meatloaf sandwich instead. Silly old Euthyphro.

Golden Rule

The Golden Rule walks into a Starbucks and cheerfully hands the barista a Quad Venti Latte.

Syllogism

All syllogisms enjoy walking into a Starbucks.

Aristotle's best friend is a syllogism.

Therefore, Aristotle's best friend enjoys walking into Starbucks.

Enthymeme

Creators of enthymemes enjoy walking into Starbucks.

Therefore, poor logicians enjoy walking into Starbucks.

Fallacy of the Complex Question

When did the fallacy of the complex question walk into a Starbucks, before or after you stopped kicking puppies?

Kenneth Burke

Kenneth Burke walks into a Starbucks and selects a coffee, deflects a latte, and reflects concern over the price.

Michel Foucault

Michel Foucault surreptitiously enters a Starbucks and unwillingly orders the coffee.

René Descartes

Descartes walks into a Starbucks and the barista asks "Would you like a cup of coffee?" Descartes replies "I think not" and POOF! he vanishes.