9/13/14

9/9/14

Paradox

A wooden dock used to secure the giant starbucks coffee ships just putting into port. Ahoy!
A paradox walks into a Starbucks. The first one, designed for iPods, ordered an Americano. The second, made of cedar and suitable for securing modestly-sized dinghies, had a macchiato.

9/7/14

Paradox

Cardiothoracic surgeon performing a triple bypass on his favorite barista in exchange for a venti latte.
A paradox walks into a Starbucks. The first—a neurosurgeon—orders a cappuccino. The second—a pediatrician—opts for the pumpkin spice latte.

9/4/14

MS-DOS

3.5 floppy disk ascii art ms-dos rocks our face off bbs interwebs binary
MS-DOS walks into a Starbucks and orders a







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    }_{ __{
 .-{   }   }-.
(   }     {   )
|`-.._____..-'|
|             ;--.
|            (__  \
|             | )  )
|             |/  /
|             /  /
|            (  /
\             y'
 `-.._____..-'


and a


   _.-------._
 .'    ___    '.
/     (___)     \
|'._         _.'|
|   `'-----'`   |
 \             /
  '-.______..-'

9/3/14

Court bailiff

Courtroom bailiff swearing in a hardened criminal who stole a bottle of 2% milk.
A courtroom bailiff walks into a Starbucks and orders a grande Americano with sugar and milk, the whole milk, and nothing but the milk.

8/30/14

North Carolina Division of Motor Vehicles (DMV)

Golden retriever being kicked out of the North Carolina DMV for being too darn cute.
The North Carolina Division of Motor Vehicles (DMV) walks into a  Starbucks. After having the barista fill out a stack of useless forms and remake its beverage five times, it decides that it needs to come back on another day.

8/25/14

Procrustes

The Greek stretcher and conformer himself, cutting the grass before taking a nap in his procrustean bed.
Procrustes walks into a Starbucks. After cutting to the front of the line and ordering a quad venti latte, he insists that it be served in a shot glass. The barista, fond of his arms and legs, does exactly that.

6/9/14

Sine wave

Sine waves exist everywhere just like this oscillating concrete staircase
A sine wave walks into a Starbucks and orders one blueberry muffin, balanced on top of a bagel, soaked with four shots of espresso, and microwaved on high for five minutes. The barista raises his eyebrows, but before he can comment on the peculiar request, the since wave advises:

"It's just a phase I'm going through."