Anagram

Anagram walks into a Starbucks; the barista asks what he'd like to order.

"A clown's toffee badge!" is the enthusiastic reply.

"Say what?" replies the barista.

"Felt bacon wedges, oaf!"

"Umm…" the barista trails off.

"A bad, soft fleece gown!" The anagram replies, and confirms: "God's new tee-off cabal."

As the barista stares with amazement at this bizarre customer, the anagram angrily places the same order a fifth time: 

"Bagel and two coffees."

Euthyphro's Lesser-Known Dilemma

Euthyphro walked into a Starbucks and ordered a tall coffee. The barista probed:

"We have two options for you this afternoon, our blonde roast and our Pike Place Roast. Which would you like?"

Euthyphro stared wide-eyed at the employee for a few moments, turned on his heels, and walked out. As it turns out, he deemed the decision impossible, so he went home and had a meatloaf sandwich instead. Silly old Euthyphro.

Euphemism

A euphemism walks into a Starbucks and orders a coffee. He takes a gulp, scalds his taste buds, and begins to scream hysterically. When the barista asks him what his problem is, he pauses momentarily and replies: "This coffee is a bit too warm."

Limerick

A limerick walked into a Star
bucks paid were too many by far.
with coffee so pricey,
and service that dicey,
it left not a tip in the jar.

Palindrome

Palindrome walks into a Starbucks and dna skcubratS a otni sklaw emordnilaP

Logical contradiction

A logical contradiction walks into a Starbucks and orders a hot cup of iced coffee, unsweetened, with half-and-half and two packs of sugar.

Stream of consciousness

A stream of consciousness walks into Starbucks, pauses briefly at the end of line, waiting patiently to order, but it seems so cold in this room and the prices are a bit too high I have to wonder if it is a good idea to come here, is the pricing even fair or reasonable? Yet it is the only place this client is ever willing to meet to discuss the details of their social media campaign, as if it makes a difference where we meet, and I can't help but wonder why we can't meet in the library where the homeless people hang out, I like them a lot, they have stories; I think a Grande Veranda pour-over might be nice or even a doppio but the prices--goodness--can't they do more with coupons? I don't think I've ever seen a Starbucks coupon or discount; rarified stuff, ambrosia; am I being scammed? So much hand-lettered chalk signage and who does it all? Moving forward two spots now, someone gave up on the line and left, heck yeah! Where's my friend...no, client, not a friend, a client. Can a client be a friend, my pants itch, free wifi, lofi, hifi, whyaskwhyfi, there's something to be said for their business model and those white paper cups, and I don't think they hire people without tattoos anymore; I'm not sure anyone doesn't have tattoos anymore, do they throw out their coffee every hour? But free refills for gold card members I might give up on Starbucks ah time to order, fantastic, what do I want.